What happens at a private viewing before a funeral?
A viewing is time set aside to be with the person who has passed away before the funeral, usually in a private room at the funeral home. Families tend to ask the same practical things: what will they look like, can I touch them, can the children come, and do we have to. This guide explains how a viewing works and what to expect, so you can decide.
A viewing is optional. The funeral director arranges it, the family decides who attends and how long it runs, and it can be held with the coffin open or closed. Some families find it helps them say goodbye; others would rather remember the person as they were. Both are common.
Below we cover what a viewing is, what the person will look and feel like, whether you can touch them or place something with them, children, open or closed caskets, when a viewing may not be advised, embalming, and cost.
What is a viewing, and where does it happen?
A viewing, sometimes called a private farewell or paying respects, is time for family and close friends to be with the person before the funeral. It usually happens in a quiet viewing room at the funeral home, in the day or two beforehand, though some families have a short viewing just before the service. You choose who comes and how long you stay. A staff member is nearby, but the time is private.
What will the person look and feel like?
The funeral home prepares the person so they look settled and at rest, with their hair, clothing and expression arranged. Most people are struck by how peaceful they look, rather than distressed. They will feel cool to the touch, and firmer than in life, which is normal. If the person was unwell for a long time, they often look more at ease than in their final days. The funeral director can tell you what to expect for your situation before you go in.
Can you touch them, or place something with them?
Yes. You can hold their hand, kiss their forehead, sit close, or say what you need to. Many families place something in the coffin as well.
If you would like the person dressed in their own clothes, or holding something particular, tell the funeral director in advance.
Should children attend a viewing?
Children can attend, and many cope better than adults expect, but it should be the parent's decision and never forced. The key is to prepare them for what they will see in simple, honest words: that the person will be lying still with their eyes closed, that they may look asleep but their body has stopped working, and that they will feel cold. Let the child decide whether to look or touch, stay close, and take them out the moment they want to go.
Open or closed casket, and when a viewing may not be advised
Whether the coffin is open or closed is the family's choice. An open coffin lets people see the person; a closed one keeps the focus on remembering them, often with a photo placed on top. Sometimes a viewing is not possible or not advisable, for example after certain kinds of death, and the funeral director will tell you honestly if that is the case, and whether a closed-coffin farewell is the better option. You can still say goodbye without seeing the person.
Does the body need embalming for a viewing?
Not always. For a viewing soon after the death, light preparation is usually enough. Embalming, which slows deterioration, is more likely to be suggested if the viewing is several days later, if the person is being taken interstate or overseas, or in warm conditions. It is a choice in most cases, not a legal requirement, so ask the funeral director whether it is needed for your situation and what it costs. You can decline it and ask about alternatives.
What does a viewing cost?
It depends on the funeral home. A short private viewing is sometimes included in the service and sometimes charged as an extra, especially if it is held outside business hours or the person needs preparation first. Ask for it to be listed on your itemised quote so there are no surprises.
Frequently asked questions
Do you have to view the body?
Can you touch or hold the person?
Can children go to a viewing?
What if the death was traumatic?
Is embalming required for a viewing?
A final word
A viewing is one way of saying goodbye, and whether it is right for you is a personal call. Ask the funeral director what is possible and what it involves, and decide from there. Seeing the person, or choosing not to, are both normal.
When you are ready
This guide is general information to help Australian families, editorially reviewed by the Funerals Direct team from publicly available sources. It is not legal or financial advice. Funeral prices change and vary by provider and region, so always ask for an itemised written quote. For prepaid funerals, bonds, or insurance, consider speaking with an independent financial adviser or a free financial counsellor on 1800 007 007.
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